Mas Selamat Handy Guide!!! // Wednesday, March 26, 2008




The Great Singapore Search is still on, and people have been circulating pictures of escaped terrorist Mas Alamak Kastari so that members of the public can help to spot him. But not say we say what, the pictures (Above) are not very helpful leh.
Almost the same, what! I mean, this guy is smart enough to escape ISD HQ, you think he wen go and find some more powderful disguise, meh?

In our one and only contribution to national security, TalkingCock.com brings you a handy guide to help spot Mas Selamat which you can print out and keep inside your wallet, just in case…

“Previously, there were five aspects to ‘Total Defence’: Military, Civil, Economic, Social and Psychological,” said Ministry of Defence spokesman Colonel Khee Jiam Ban. “But due to the escape of terrorist Mat Alamak Kastadi, we feel we have to add another: Toilet Defence.”“We can never be secure if we feel defenceless in the one place we have to let our defences down,” explained Colonel Khee. “We definitely got complacent at the loo at Whitley Road, but never again!”Mindef says it is collaborating with the Singaporean Toilet Operators Organizational League (STOOL) to train toilet attendants to be anti-terrorism agents.“Toilet uncles and aunties are going to be our first line of defence in the war against terror,” said Colonel Khee. “At some point, Mat Alamak is going to need to use the toilet again… and this time, he won’t escape!”Toilet uncles and aunties will be taught pertinent skills such as hand-to-hand combat, and how to transform toilet plungers into deadly weapons.“Lai lah!” said Madam Ho Chee Kak, 68, who guards the pay toilets at Bukit Pantat Hawker Centre. “If he come to my toilet, I will kick his ass so far up, he will taste his own sai!”
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`{ HengHeng Post } @ 11:32 AM